Saturday, August 21, 2010

Mixed Emotions

This time last year, I couldn't wait for school to start.

This year, I'm hanging on to summer...I'm not sure if it's the fact that Nathan will be going to school or if it's something else. All I know is I'm enjoying this time that I have with all my kids. Sure my kids drive me nuts sometimes (I'm not perfect), but I've truly have been enjoying spending time with them. It's been a real pleasure playing with them and making crafts and just hanging out in general. 

Maybe it's the fact that time keeps slipping from my grasp.  This time next year, my oldest baby will be preparing to leave the nest by going to college.  I'm not ready for that either.  Life just keeps changing on me.  I wish I could turn back the clock or slow the time down so I could enjoy it more. 

It's weird that when they are little we just don't take the time to appreciate how precious those moments are.  We are simply in survival mode...trying to get through all those sleepless nights, those mounds of dirty diapers, those frustrating potty training/poopy accidents that drove us nuts and made us wish that we could fast forward past all those difficult parenting trials.  If only we would have realized how fleeting time is.  How much we would miss those times, yes - even the messy ones. 

It's hard to keep ourselves in check when our kids are spilling koolaid on the floor we just cleaned.  Or asking us to read the same storybook over and over again til we feel like our tongues are going to fall off.  Or give endless kisses and hugs and wiping those slobbers off our faces.  We get frustrated and just wish bedtime would hurry up and get there.  During those moments we aren't thinking about how much we wish they wouldn't grow up and leave us.  All we see is the mess and chaos. 

I have about nine more days until school starts and I intend to enjoy the moment.  Now whether or not my kids drive me to the funny farm during those days remains to be seen, but for now I'm embracing the time and hanging on to my babies as long as I can.

8 comments:

Erica (mah) said...

AAAaaawwww Char. You could have taken those words right out of my mouth!! There so true!! Although my oldest is barely going to 5th. I still get a knot in my tummy every start of a school year. Its like a new year has started and is going to go by so fast. I love spending summers with all my kiddos. I wish I could find that pause button or slow down button!! Mixed emotions!! YUP!! =*)

Michelle said...

That's so sweet (and sad too, in a good way). I've been looking at my three kids lately and wondering where the time has gone. My oldest is entering high school this year, and my youngest is entering second grade. It all goes by too quickly, and while it makes me sad to see my babies growing up so fast, it's so wonderful to see the lovely people they're growing into.

I'm fortunate to be able to homeschool all of my kids so we get to spend all our time together, I still notice the passage of time, which makes me cherish every second I have with them.

SITS Saturday share fest visiting. Peace. ;)

Michelle @ greenearthbazaar.com

Jessica @ Barefoot by the Sea said...

Sweet and take comfort in the fact that so many Moms out there, like you feel very similar. Motherhood is like that - are we ever content? Always looking for the next thing to smile, laugh or scream about. All I know, when that bus comes around the corner for the first day, I'll tear up - and I drive my daughter to school anyway. There is just something about this time of year!

Jackie said...

Great post! I had mixed emotions too about my son starting school on Thursday. I'm sad because he's growing up way too fast, but I'm also excited for him because I know he's going to love school and have a blast. My son being in school is actually harder on my husband because he's usually home with him during the day when I'm at work. I'll still have him around in the evenings for all the messy, crazy moments.

Kyrstin said...

I am glad you posted this. My oldest is starting Kindergarten in a week. He is sooo excited, and I am excited for him, but also sad. He is growing up way to fast!

Emmy said...

Love love this post. Often people only seem to say it will go by fast enjoy it but do not acknowledge how hard it is when you are in it, And yes we should try to enjoy the insanity more :)

Angela said...

I hear you! My baby is off to High School. My other baby is off to Middle School. My other baby is in her last year of Elementary. And with our 3 babies I'm holding on for dear life! Because I know how fast time flies! I'm looking at it! Waaaaahhhh! Enjoy it!

Jackie Higgins said...

Great post. My oldest just finished potty training and though I'm so happy, there's a part of me that's sad that he's not a baby anymore. My husband just thinks I'm crazy but this post helped me know it's just a mommy thing. We want our kids to take off and soar and be what they are supposed to be but sometimes the changes as they are growing up are hard too and we want to just keep them with us... as our babies.